"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." - Stephen Covey (I think he said it; I cannot recall if it was original with him. Still, this saying has always resonated with me. Main things are so difficult to track these days. It is hard to keep the main thing in the forefront when there are so many other worthy distractions that clamor for our attention.
Like trying to focus on one event at a Three Ring Circus - we are confronted with a plethora of things happening right before our eyes. Clowns, elephants, horses with riders, daring young men on their flying trapezes, vendors hocking their wares of peanuts and popcorn, oversized brightly-colored cannons shooting helmet-clad daredevils high into the air across the canvas canopy of entertainment...There are so many things happening all around us - sights to see, noises to hear, and smells to, well,...smell. And all the while we are attempting to focus on one particular part of the show.
Our world is filled with circus-like atmospheres of entertainment, information, persuasive arguments, and commercially-designed enticements to capture, if not our harried attentions, at least our pocketbooks and wallets. Oftentimes it is even manifested through horrific and tragic events that not only capture our hearts, but also awaken fears that we thought had been buried so deeply within our psyches that we are shocked with they are dragged to the surface. And we wonder how can this happen? Especially here? Now? In this day and age?
But it has.
Again.
And once again, we are confronted with the onslaught of movements and arguments and cries, and calls for "something to be done!"
"How many more before we do something?" We see and hear it in the streets, those clamoring with a sense of absolute urgency to do something - anything - even if it is wrong - to make this nonsense stop.
And if we are brutally honest with ourselves - I mean, truly, deep-down, BRUTALLY HONEST - we can even agree. It must stop. This cannot go on. Enough is enough.
Arguments and debates rage once again - both sides calling for rational action that will make this senseless tragedy somehow end. Each perspective armed with statistics and slogans, arguments and polls, demonstrating just how foolish it is to accept this as the new norm. And they are both right. This is America. This is not some third-world country where fighting in the streets is seen day-in and day-out. This is the land of the free. This is the place where dreams can come true. This is the place where everyone should be able to grow up, work hard, and make a place for themselves. The outrage when lives are cut short is justified. This should not happen here.
But, again, it is difficult for us to remember: "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
Emotions run rampant when we are accosted with such a moral outrage. We demand immediate action and justice. We demand changes.
We demand, because we are known as a people of action. A nation that gets results. It is in our DNA.
But, "...the main thing..." keeps coming back and haunting me. And the "main thing" I keep seeing is that we've completely turned a blind eye to the source of these crises.
We've forgotten how to care. We've stopped thinking of the "other". We've turned so far inward into our own little lives that we've neglected the soul who is searching for meaning right next to us.
A few weeks ago, I was watching a television show on automotive restoration. A team of mechanics were sent out to a home where the parents of a deceased veteran of the war in Afghanistan were wanting to restore their late son's car. The son had bought the car as a means of dealing with his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which he had developed after his multiple tours of duty in war-torn Afghanistan. It was supposed to be therapeutic. It was going to help him return to "the real world" again by helping him get his mind off of his PTSD. Seemed like a good plan.
But the shadows kept haunting him. The nightmare wasn't going to be left behind him on the battlefield. It followed him. Everywhere.
And when a problem arose with this project car, or some other setback happened, he took his own life.
Like so many other soldiers who return home haunted by what they had experienced overseas.
I sat there crying. Watching a car show, I cried.
I cried for his parents. They were trying to save something from their beloved son's life that was positive, knowing that there were demons hiding in his heart and mind from the horrors of war, but also knowing that they had no idea just how scary those demons were. And so to honor his memory, they wanted to get this car running. As a tribute to him, and all that is good and noble in their son's life.
I sat crying because I cannot even begin to know or understand what those demons are like, or how absolutely dark those shadows are that can cloud out the brightest day. I do not know. I cried because I wanted so desperately to let that soldier know that there is a hope that can see him through that darkness, but totally ill-prepared to help as I have not been there myself. I cried because I do not want anyone to ever feel as though there is no hope.
And it dawned on me. The problem we have with our world today is not too many guns, nor even is it that we have turned our backs on those who struggle with the multitude of forms of mental illness. The problem is that we have forgotten how to offer people hope. We have forgotten how to talk with and listen to people who are struggling. We've forgotten how to care. We've forgotten that compassion is far greater than any drug that can be manufactured to help combat loneliness, despair, depression, anxiety, or any other affliction that can rob people of a sense of worth. We've forgotten how to relate to one another.
Scriptures are replete with teachings about the necessity of being in right relationships with God, others, and ourselves. When we put ourselves first, we find that the whole of creation gets out of balance. We push and shove; we elbow our ways through, around, and over others with little regard of what their world is like at that moment. We've forgotten that we are created to be in relationship with one another.
Instead, we hide behind "social" media (how is it truly "social" if we're not actually interacting with one another in person? We're just pushing buttons on a computer or tapping letters on a cellphone! That's not interpersonal!). We believe that because of the technology, we are freer to share what we really think - and damn the one who disagrees with us!
And that's where all this begins to break down. We've forgotten how to think about the other first. And truth be known, we've forgotten this because we've forgotten how to relate to the One who created us - who taught us simple ways to live, so that we'd learn to respect one another, honor one another, value one another.
What is missing in our culture today is not another law or set of laws restricting this or punishing that. What is missing is our ability - our willingness - to engage the other in compassion. We don't need another law. We need to care.
